


A Song For You

by merongming



Category: Wanna One (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Radio, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Fluff and Angst, M/M, ONGSUNG, Ongniel, Strangers to Lovers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-21
Updated: 2018-08-21
Packaged: 2019-06-30 20:17:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,283
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15758934
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/merongming/pseuds/merongming
Summary: There was something special in Jisung, the black haired man acknowledged that. Although his life was still busy and messy, that winter ended a little nicer to Seongwu.Thanks to DJ Jisung's voice.





	A Song For You

**Author's Note:**

> When I thought of this plot, there were more details to be written, but I had to cut some things off and the middle got a little rushed. However I hope the fic is still enjoyable to read.
> 
> I'm sorry in advance for any errors in the text.  
> Thank you the organizers of the event, I'm really happy to have joined!  
> A good fic fest for all!  
> And happy birthday to our beloved Ong Seongwu~! ♥

The last few days were the coldest of that year as far as Seongwu could remember. Usually, his days passed like a blur and it was hard for him to remember everyday details like that. Still he could remember everything about winter.

 

Cold days used to bring old memories to him. That kind of memory you would do anything to erase it from your head. The worst events of Seongwu’s life happened during the winter, so he had a natural aversion to that time of the year. The events that changed the course of his life and transformed him into what he was.

 

Ong Seongwu was an ordinary guy with twenty five years who had, in his own words, a shitty life.

 

Nights like that made him think he was the most unlucky guy in the world... And, unfortunately, nights like that were part of his routine.

 

Seongwu was walking to his home after working 12 hour shifts at his part time jobs, trying not to bother with the cold air hitting his face. His stomach complained of hunger every five minutes and he still had a lot to walk.

 

His dinner would be the leftover food he was bringing with him, from the restaurant he worked at night. It was tiring to spend the evening washing dishes, but at least he could save some money most nights because of the free food. That was one of his skills, that he was not quite sure if he could be proud. Seongwu was an expert in sneak the leftover food that the customers left on the plates.

 

It was not the best dinner in the world, but he could not wait to get home and eat the _tteokbokki_ and _bulgogi_ mixture he had been able to get - sometimes he was lucky enough to pick up things he liked. It was a pity he did not buy instant coffee though. It would be perfect if he had something hot to drink on a night like that.

 

_‘A hot shower would be even better’_ , he thought as he kicked a random stone in the street. His arms were aching thanks to all the dishes that he washed plus the rubble he carried during the day, at a construction site he worked. Seongwu sighed as he imagined the sensation of the hot water running through his aching arms.

 

The restaurant owner used to let him use the shower as soon as he arrived from his other job, and Seongwu was grateful for that. But it was too much to expect that a five minute bath would wash away all the accumulated stress he had.

 

Seongwu carried all the worries he had accumulated since childhood on his shoulders. Still, he would be happy if he could wash away his daily problems every time he got home.

 

"Home", the black haired man mumbled, seeing his house at the top of the slope.

 

When he was a child, Seongwu used to think that if he had a place to sleep, he could already say that he had a home. However he was wrong and he learned that the hard way.

 

Seongwu did have a home. But it was far from where he currently slept.

 

He had two homes throughout his life. Until the age of twelve his home was the yellow house where he lived with his parents, in one of the suburbs of Seoul. Although the place was small, Seongwu had never lived as comfortably as there. Winters were less cold and more fun back then. When he could ask his father to help him build a snowman or beg his mother to put marshmallows in his hot chocolate.

 

There were days when Seongwu tried to remember what it was like to live in his old house. Under his blankets, he closed his eyes and tried to revive the cozy feeling he used to feel when he slept in his mother's arms. It might seem childish to miss things like that, however Seongwu could not help it. He missed his childhood because he had spent a short time with his parents.

 

He had lost his parents in a winter thirteen years ago, because of a snowstorm. They died in a car accident, making Seongwu’s life change by 180 degrees from that day. The black haired man didn't like to remember that part of his past, but sometimes he could not help thinking how his life would be different if his parents were still in that world with him.

 

He would probably be in his senior year at university or working in a decent full-time job. Then he would have fewer days of stress and more money to spend on himself. That money would probably spend on food and energy bills - Seongwu really enjoyed hot baths.

 

Besides, Seongwu would be a more sociable person, as he used to be in childhood. If he had grown up in his old house, away from trouble, the black haired male would have a group of friends with he could talk about everything and rely on.

 

And if he had a normal life, maybe he'd be dating. It could be a good looking sunbae he met at work, the kind of guy who would take care of him. Or he could be dating a cute dongsaeng from the university, a person with a smile that could brighten his day.

 

Seongwu laughed dryly at his own ideas. When he thought of all the things he had not experienced, his life seemed even more mediocre than it already was. Keep thinking those things would not fill his stomach, so he accelerated the pace of his walk. There was no point in wasting time thinking about impossible things.

 

The climb was tiring, but the black haired man just wanted to get home fast to eat and sleep. He sighed in relief as he reached the stairs that would lead him to his small place. The young male was almost at the bottom of the stairs when he noticed the light on in his living room.

 

Seongwu cursed under his breath, impatiently. It seemed that it was not his lucky night after all.

 

When he stopped in front of the house, his mind was a mess again. He held the door knob and waited. Seongwu stayed like that for a while, trying to calm down. Although that situation was not entirely unfamiliar to him, he was not sure how his night would end after he would pass through that door.

 

He took a deep breath before finally turning the knob. As he had predicted, he did not have to unlock the door with his key. At least his door had not been brutally broken as in other times - his savings were grateful for that.

 

Seongwu made the door slide smoothly and quietly as he opened it, as if silence could delay whatever was to come. But to his displeasure, as soon as he took off his shoes and entered the living room, an annoying voice reached his ears. The intruder's tone was demanding and made the black haired man clench his jaw in irritation.

 

_"You are late."_

 

Seongwu made no attempt to look at the other man or answer him. He decided to ignore the intruder, preferring to pay attention to the food bag he had brought. On his way to the kitchen area, he saw from the corner of his eye a silhouette at the opposite end of the small room.

 

The man was sitting on the floor, even though it was cold. He did not have much choice though, since Seongwu did not have much furniture in his house. The black haired man lived in a cubicle with two rooms: a living room/kitchen and a bathroom. The place looked spacious, however, since the young male almost had no belongings to fill it.

 

He only had an old mattress, some blankets and an used refrigerator. His clothes were folded over a chair in a corner of the living room, next to his mattress. And next to his ‘bed’ was also an old radio that belonged to his father, the only distraction he had when he stayed at home.

 

Seongwu set the bag on the sink counter and hurriedly opened it. His mouth salivated as the scent of food hit his nostrils. He began to eat calmly, enjoying the different flavors of his dinner. For a brief moment he thought the other person in the house would let him eat in peace.

 

However, his peacefulness state ended up minutes later, just like the _tteokbokki_ he was eating.

 

"Aren’t you going to greet me, Seongwu-ya?" The man got up and walked towards the house owner.

 

"Aren't you going to stop invading my house, Taehyun-ssi?" The black haired male retorted coldly. The Taehyun guy laughed for a while before talking again.

 

"Why are you so cold? I told you to call me hyung." Without warning, the older male grabbed Seongwu's arm and forced him to turn his body, so they could face each other. "And no, I will not stop coming here to visit you… I'll always come back until you pay all your debt."

 

Seongwu felt his anger increase as he saw the smirk in Taehyun’s face. This was what he hated most in his life, having to deal with that kind of person. Unfortunately after losing his parents, Seongwu was forced to endure their constant presence. Because the black haired man's father had left a huge debt behind, the younger grew up surrounded by a loan shark and his henchmen.

 

And because he was destined to live with those men in his shadow, none of his relatives wanted to adopt him. So Seongwu had to grow up in an orphanage, living with strangers until he reached his legal age. Yet he never resented his father for that awful fate.

 

The black haired man was grateful that Mr. Ong had tried everything to give his family a better life. Thus he had chosen to focus his anger and hate on the loan shark and his people. And this hatred extended to the loan shark’s son, Noh Taehyun.

 

"What are you doing here? I already paid your father this month." Seongwu pulled away from the other's grip, distancing himself.

 

"I did not come to collect money this time. I came because I missed you." The black haired man grimaced in disgust, but the older male just ignored him: "You know, I heard something funny last week. My boys swear they saw you walking around with a rich man."

 

Seongwu clenched his fists, trying to hold back his anger. That crazy bastard had not changed at all, his hobby was still to monitor Seongwu's life. It was as if the red haired man had eyes in every part of Seoul to watch over the younger. Although Seongwu had a debt with the father, it was the son who liked to torment him.

 

Taehyun was like a plague, always appearing at the worst times, reminding Seongwu about all the bad things of his life.

 

"They told me you were having fun with that old dude." Taehyun had a malicious tone, but the black haired man could feel some bitterness in his words. "I told them that it could not be true, my little Seongwu doesn’t have time to clubbing."

 

The last sentence made Seongwu get an idea of what the older male was referring to. He was implying that Seongwu was working as an escort, but the younger was just earning some extra money as a rental driver in said night.

 

"They were wrong, right Seongwu-ya? If you were working like that, I would feel so disappointed." Taehyun tried to touch the younger's cheek, but the latter turned his face in time to escape. "Why would you play with someone else when I'm here?"

 

Seongwu's stomach churned uncomfortably at the other's words. Years passed, but Taehyun still had not given up making Seongwu his personal escort. Thinking about that was enough to make the younger shiver.

 

He preferred to work his ass off on part-time jobs than spending one day with someone he hated so much.

 

"What do you think, Seongwu-ya? Will you accept my offer this time?"

 

"How many times do I have to tell you this? I'd rather sell my soul to the devil than work for someone like you, Taehyun-ssi". Seongwu replied with a tedious tone.

 

The black haired male turned his back on the older, hoping he would leave him alone. However, his biting comment made Taehyun lose his temper. The loan shark grabbed Seongwu's arm again, this time fiercely.

 

The younger felt his body being pulled harshly, making him bit his lips to hold a groan. The sudden movements intensified the discomfort in his already aching body. Though his mind was screaming for him to fight the older man, his tired body did not want to obey him.

 

So Seongwu just stared at the other, silently and petulantly. Taehyun was looking at him furiously and despite seeming imperturbable, Seongwu was trembling inside. He was already accustomed to the aggressive behavior of the other, but it was inevitable to fear the punishment that would come against him.

  


"Do not act like you're better than me, you have nothing to be proud of in your life" The red haired man grabbed Seongwu's chin, bringing their faces closer together. "I can make your life so much better. I'll get you out of this sty and..."

 

The younger did not let the red haired man finish his sentence, acting on impulse. Seongwu spat on Taehyun's face, seized with disgust, making the older male get away from him.

 

He could not help himself. It was true that his life sucked, but Taehyun had no right to insult the few things Seongwu had achieved with the money he earned.

 

The loan shark's reaction was immediate and Seongwu just closed his eyes, waiting for the attack. Taehyun's punch hit him painfully in the face, but the black haired man refused to utter any sound that showed any sign of weakness.

 

The silence that filled the air was full of Taehyun's anticipation and Seongwu was too angry to deal with that. So he spat out the blood that had accumulated in his mouth and stormed out the house without looking back.

 

As he hurried down the stairs, he could hear Taehyun shouting. He held the urge to scream curses back, the cut on his lip aching even more in contact with the cold air. No matter if the other decided to come after him, Seongwu just wanted to stay as far as he could from his presence.

 

He ran and ran until his lungs ached with the breath of air he'd inspired. Seongwu leaned forward, resting his hands on his knees. It felt like every part of his body was aching and it was hard to breathe. He cursed Taehyun's existence, gasping in the process.

 

He felt as if all his energy was fading. He wanted to lie down, close his eyes and wait. Waiting for that sense of helplessness to disappear. Moments like that did not make him think about why his life was like that, but made him wonder why he was still alive.

 

Seongwu was never afraid of death, the idea that he might meet his parents again always comforted him. However there was something holding him there. Or rather, someone held him in that world and gave him the strength to live.

 

And as if there was some kind of telepathy involved, Seongwu's phone rang in his pocket just at that moment. He reached the object quickly, the hope bringing a strange sensation in his stomach. A sincere smile appeared on his face as he saw a message notification on the screen.

 

**Nielie:** hyung do you have some time?

I have news!

 

Seongwu felt his heart warm. After so long, he was finally going to visit his second home.

  


*****

 

 

Seongwu liked to go to the Han River when he was upset or sad. Feeling the breeze from the river and watching the moving waters always helped him relax. That's why Daniel had brought him there as soon as his eyes fell on the older male.

 

Seongwu was grateful for not having to say out loud to the younger how he was feeling. Fortunately, Daniel could understand him just with a glance.

 

They were sitting inside the blonde's car, the Han River in front of their eyes. It was warm and cozy there. The black haired male did not know if it was because they were in an enclosed space, or if that comfortable feeling was radiating from Daniel.

 

Seongwu was happy, seeing the younger always gave him energy and strength. For the older, the blonde male always had a welcoming aura, since they met. That's why Seongwu considered Daniel his current home.

 

"I swear to God, I'll kill that bastard someday" The blonde clenched his fists, angrily.

 

Seongwu felt a little guilty for showing his weak side to the younger. He hated to let Daniel worry about him.

 

"Do not swear by something you can not keep." The black haired man gently touched his friend's forehead, making his frown disappear. "And that's my promise. I'm going to kill him someday."

 

The blonde smiled and took the older man's hand before it could get away from him. Daniel squeezed Seongwu's hand between his and the latter felt a bit of nostalgia. He felt like he was in their old days again.

 

The days when they sat in the backyard of the orphanage alone and talked about their future. Seongwu could remember all the promises he had made to Daniel at that time and which of them he had been able to keep.

 

He missed those days. The days when he could dream, even surrounded by Mr. Noh's henchmen. When he and Daniel made plans for their future in the past, it was as if all the problems in the world were possible to resolve.

 

For a long time Seongwu felt that way, he used to think that if the two were together, nothing was impossible. However, as the years went by, he realized that it would take time before he could pay off all his debt. His freedom was far from happening and he could not let Daniel get stuck with him.

 

Then he understood. Seongwu realized that even though he could not achieve his own dreams, he could help Daniel reach his.

 

After everything that happened in his life, the younger was the only family the black haired man had. Daniel was the only kid in the orphanage to approach him, the only one who was not afraid of the newbie who lived surrounded by evil men.

 

Even though he was only eleven at the time, the blonde was mature enough to comfort Seongwu. Daniel lost his friends because he wanted to stay with Seongwu and the latter felt guilty about that. But the younger told him that everything was fine.

 

_'I do not want to be friends with meanie people like them'_ he explained to the older male one time.

 

From that day on they became inseparable. In the beginning, it was as if Daniel was the oldest of the two. He protected the black haired boy when the school kids mocked him and even tried to get into a fight with the loan shark for trying to scare his friend. The blonde even found another route to avoid the henchmen who used to follow Seongwu to school.

 

It was nice to have the feeling of being looked after by someone else, so he did not mind leaving his guard down in front of Daniel.

 

But it all changed when Seongwu saw the blonde cry for the first time. It had been for something small, - another child of the orphanage had stolen Daniel's jellies -  however it had a major impact on the black haired boy.

 

Daniel was also fragile, like any child their age. So Seongwu who was older and had already experienced so many bitter things in his life decided it was time for him to take care of his friend. He struggled to overcome his fears and traumas so that he could help the younger to have a better future.

 

He has worked hard since he was sixteen to help his friend get into a college and have a different destiny than his. He worked part-time after classes and even made more debts with Mr. Noh. But he did not regret anything.

 

When the younger got into college and started medical school, Seongwu felt like the happiest guy in the world. When he saw the bright smile on Daniel's face, he knew he had made the right choice.

 

"Just two more years hyung and I will graduate." Daniel broke the silence with a soft tone. "Please wait just a little longer. Soon we can live together and I will protect you."

 

"Hyung is fine Daniel, no need to worry." Seongwu smiled, playing with the blonde's fingers. "Just worry about your studies, I can wait."

 

The younger sighed and the black haired man knew that he was unhappy. Then Seongwu tried to divert his attention away from that subject:

 

"So what was the news you wanted to tell me?"

 

The bait seemed to work, since the blonde got excited by the other's interest. "I was already forgetting that! You will not believe!" Daniel turned his upper body towards the older man to face him. "Sungwoon sunbae told me that a friend of his works on a broadcasting company and that his department is in need of a temporary employee!"

 

"So…?"

 

"So I told him about you!" The younger's eyes were full of expectation. "It would be so incredible if you can get this job! You would not need to work on all those part-time jobs and you would still earn a little more…"

 

"Calm down, you puppy" Seongwu was almost laughing at the younger's excitation. "You know the probability of me getting a job like this is almost nil. What big company would hire a guy who barely finished high school and only has experience in part-time jobs?"

 

Seongwu tried to sound as impassive as possible, but it would be difficult for Daniel not to notice a bit of bitterness in his speech. The blonde male knew that in the past the older had dreamed of being a police officer.

 

"Now comes the part you will not believe... Sungwoon sunbae has already talked to his friend and recommended you! You just have to take your curriculum there tomorrow." Seongwu looked at the other with wide eyes. "They do not need someone with experience in the field, it's just manual labor. You have 98% chance of getting the job".

 

"I... Oh my God Niel, fuck you and your connections!" The black haired man exclaimed, laughing. He pulled the blonde into a hug, sparks of excitement running through his body. "Does that mean I'll never have to look at the face of that petty old man at the convenience store again? What would I do without you, Nielie?"

 

"Stop it, I owe you so much, Seongwu hyung" The younger wrapped his arms around the other's waist, snuggling himself in his body "This is the least I can do for you."

 

The older boy buried his face in the crook of Daniel's neck as he lightly stroked the blond locks. Seongwu relaxed in his friend's embrace, the warmth of the younger giving him a sense of security.

 

Daniel was the first to yawn, but Seongwu was the first to express his desire: "I want to sleep." he babbled softly, sniffing the blonde's neck and inhaling the familiar scent that used to soothe him.

 

"We can not sleep like this." Daniel laughed, squirming in the car’s seat thanks to the tickling that Seongwu had caused on his skin. "I'll lower the back of your seat, so you can sleep comfortably."

 

"I do not want!" The older whined "Let's go to the backseat so we can lie down together."

 

"All right! It's been a long time since we've done this."

 

Seongwu jumped into the backseat while Daniel turned on the car radio. The blonde joined his friend shortly after, trying to settle himself in the small space. After several attempts they managed to find a comfortable position for both and Seongwu came back to believe that it was his lucky night.

 

They were cuddling, Seongwu's head leaning against the blonde's chest, the latter humming the song that was playing on the radio. The black haired man could not feel happier than at that moment.

 

"Oh I love this radio show." Daniel exclaimed suddenly and Seongwu began to pay attention to the DJ’s voice echoing inside the car.

 

_"Mr. Sand Grain says: Jisung-ssi, I really love you and your show! Thank you for giving us such comforting words everyday!_

_Yesterday I saw something that made me very angry. My mother owns a restaurant and one of the customers humiliated her for a stupid reason. I could not do anything at that moment to protect her, that was the worst feeling I've ever had._

_She works hard in the restaurant to support me and my siblings and sometimes I feel like I do not do enough to make her sacrifice worth it. My grades at school are not the best and I do not think I'll be able to get into college or get a good job someday._

_I feel like the biggest disappointment of my mother's life. Maybe her life would be a lot better if I was not here._

_I'm very sad thinkin_ g _about this, so please DJ Jisung play a song that can comfort my heart today."_

 

Seongwu sighed at the short story narrated by the DJ's soft voice. Sometimes he got so caught up in the misfortunes of his own life that he forgot that there were other people in the world in trouble.

 

Although hearing that sort of thing was sad, knowing about the experience of someone else gave him some relief. It was as if someone had told him _'See, Seongwu, you are not the only unlucky guy in Seoul'_.

 

_"Mr. Sand Grain, I can understand why you are sad and frustrated by the way your mother was treated, but please do not underestimate yourself._

_Do not be too hard on yourself either. You do not have to be the best to make your mother proud. You just have to live well and be happy. That's the best you can do for her._

_As long as you try hard, your mother's sacrifices will be worth it._

 

_I think I know perfect music to comfort you today._

_Let's listen '20 Something by Jeong Sewoon’. Mr. Sand Grain, fighting~!"_

 

Seongwu smiled at the DJ's words. Although the advice had not been directly to him, the black haired man could not help thinking about it. Was his mother proud of him?

 

He wanted to believe so. But he did not have much time to think better about it. The song playing and the comfort of Daniel's arms made him fall asleep before he came to any conclusion.

  


*****

 

 

Seongwu was not believing that he would get the job, even with Daniel assuring him that Sungwoon sunbae had some influence on the director of the department the older had applied his curriculum. So he was surprised a week later, when they called and scheduled an interview for him.

 

The interview went well, in his opinion. But he kept his hopes low, something he had learned in the course of his life. Still, contrary to what he thought, Seongwu got the job. The first thing he did after receiving the news was to call Daniel and thank the blonde. He promised the younger that he would pay him dinner at an expensive restaurant as soon as he received the first payment.

 

Seongwu was so happy. Although he was not going to earn much more than he already earned, his days would be less tiring with only one job during the day. He still wanted to keep his job at the restaurant during the nights, the owner was a good person and since his contract with the company was only temporary, the extra money was welcome.

 

His first few weeks at work were calm. Like Daniel commented, Seongwu's function in the department was simple. His superiors assigned him tasks like: organizing files and making copies of documents, writing some contracts, making some calls, among other things.

 

They did not pay much attention to him and the black haired man was grateful for that. There were certain rules that Seongwu liked to keep in his life and one of them was to keep people away from him.

 

During his childhood people always kept their distance from him, whether they were children or adults. So he learned that it was better to keep himself away from them as well. Seongwu knew it would be a problem if he made new friends and become attached to them. Because someday they would discover how he lived and so they would back away.

 

He was gratified that his coworkers were already satisfied with just his _'good morning'_ at the beginning of the day and his _'you worked hard'_ at the end of the shift. His inexpressiveness also helped prevent people from being nice to him.

 

The days at work were easy for Seongwu for a while, until one of his superiors gave him a reprimand for the first time. He got so upset. It would okay if the fault of the errors in the documents were his, he would not mind getting a lecture for half an hour in front of the other employees. The problem is that he had only been used as a scapegoat.

 

It was not the first time he was accused of something he did not do, so Seongwu just swallowed his anger and bowed his head, apologizing. But at lunchtime, he slipped out of the office before his superiors asked him order their food. He was so bitter to do that for them.

 

That day he went to lunch in an area further away from the large building, where none of his coworkers would find him. There was a little corner by the large windows, surrounded by plants and silence. Seongwu found the place quiet, so he sat there with his cheap _kimbap_ and started to eat.

 

He was so distracted in his own little world that he did not notice when another person approached him. Seongwu realized that he was no longer alone when he saw a can of juice floating in front of his eyes.

 

He turned his face towards the stranger and was a little surprised to see someone dressed in casual clothes in that place. The guy did not look older than him and he was pretty handsome. Seongwu's gaze traced the other male's features, going to his brown hair and stopping for a while in the ear with some piercings.

 

The black haired man imagined him to be some actor or even an idol. He must have been recording something there. Seongwu cursed internally once more, this time against his luck. Of all the people who worked there, it had to be him to get the attention of an actor/idol.

 

"It's too early for anyone to be frowning like that." The stranger finally spoke, smiling slightly at Seongwu. He shook the juice can again in front of the black haired man's face, offering it silently.

 

Seongwu accepted the juice, silently as well - he would never refuse free food. The man took the cue to sit next to him. Neither of them spoke for a while, the stranger busy sipping his coffee and observing the plants there.

 

Oddly enough, Seongwu did not mind the other's presence. He could not explain why, but that man seemed to have an aura as serene as the place where they were.

 

"So, ‘ _Mr. Mysterious’_ , what is this gloomy mood around you?" The brown haired man broke the silence as soon as he finished his coffee. Seongwu could not help arching his eyebrow at the nickname. "Bad day at work?"

 

Seongwu chewed the last piece of kimbap, slowly, trying to ignore the expectant gaze of the other. He sipped the orange juice and threw the kimbap's wrapper in the trash, before finally answering the _‘Juice guy’._

 

"Yes." He said and after seconds of silence the other burst into laughter.

 

"So you're a man of few words, Mr. Mysterious". The brown haired man observed, humorously.

 

Seongwu wanted to take the employee's badge from his pocket and rub it in the other's face, but he restrained himself. It was unnecessary for a stranger to know his name, furthermore the other did not introduce himself either.

 

"You do not have to look at me like that, I'm leaving. I just wanted a company during my break and you looked perfect for it." The man got up and threw the empty plastic cup into the trash. "Do you have a cellphone?"

 

Seongwu watched him warily. Why was that guy so interested in him?

 

"Do not worry, I do not want your contact. I just want to look for something." The brown haired man joined his hands in front of his own face. "Can you lend me your cellphone, please? I will not be long, I promise."

 

Seongwu hesitated for a moment, but the urgent expression on the other's face made him relent. He thought he would probably regret it, but he ended up handing the object over to the stranger anyway.

 

The man took Seongwu’s cellphone and started typing something into it. Even if he did not want to admit it, Seongwu was a bit curious. The black haired man turned his face towards the window, but continued to monitor the other from the corner of his eye.

 

"I found it!" The man touched the cellphone’s screen and a song began to play instantly. He handed the object to Seongwu, who took it carefully. "This song will help you relax."

 

The black haired man looked at the screen and saw the name of the song - ‘ _Day by THEADE’_

 

"Some days are hard, are not they? Sometimes you wake up on the wrong side of bed or it is because something happened and it ruined your whole day. And as much as you want to drop everything, you have to be strong." The strange guy had approached Seongwu again, this time putting one hand on his shoulder.

 

"If the mood in your workplace is bad, you can try to change that. Look outside that window and see how beautiful the day is." His voice was soft and strangely familiar. Seongwu was tempted to close his eyes and try to remember where he knew that voice. However, the tender gaze and bright smile the Juice guy had while speaking were more tempting. "You can take a little of that beauty to brighten your day up. It does not have to be anything physical, it may just be a memory of something you've seen and liked."

 

"Try doing this for the rest of your today's shift, Mr. Mysterious _._ Just think of all the good things you've seen today. Fighting!"

 

The stranger winked at Seongwu before finally leaving. The black haired man stared for a while at the spot where the other had disappeared. The song was still playing and Seongwu had to admit that that actor/idol had a good taste. The song was enjoyable.

 

_"What a strange day",_ he thought as he headed back to the office.

 

For the rest of the day, he tried to follow the advice given to him. Every time the manager looked at him, Seongwu tried to think of the good things he had seen that day. But to his surprise, only the Juice guy’s voice kept coming to his mind.

 

 

*****

 

 

The second time Seongwu met the juice guy was weeks later, this time during the night.

 

The black haired man had to stay in the office doing overtime with his superiors in said night. The day had been chaos, a new radio program with a famous idol was about to start, so almost every department on that floor was busy taking care of the latest preparations.

 

It was almost midnight when the manager asked Seongwu to take some documents to an office on the other side of theirs'. Despite the tiredness of being locked in the office until that time, the black haired man was a bit more excited to see a new wing of that large building.

 

In that part were concentrated the offices and rooms of the radio shows. Seongwu had a little curiosity about that section of the building, since radio was the only media he was familiar with - in addition to NAVER and YouTube he used from time to time.

 

After delivering the documents to the marketing department, he decided to take a peek into the rooms where the radio shows were broadcast. He wandered around the area a bit, until he found a room with a show being broadcast live.

 

Thanks to the glass panel, he was able to see the DJ. The man was busy reading the script, shaking his head probably following the song that was playing at the moment. When he finally lifted his head, Seongwu nearly choked on his own saliva.

 

It was the Juice guy! It was bit unexpected to see him there, Seongwu really thought he was an actor.

 

When the man put on the headphones, Seongwu quickly reached for the cellphone in his pocket. He tuned the radio, suddenly curious to know more about the other.

 

_"Mrs. Lily says: DJ Jisung, today is my birthday! But I'm a little sad, my boyfriend is on a business trip and could not celebrate the day with me. I'm upset that he had to travel exactly in this week…"_

 

As soon as he heard the name of the Juice guy, something flashed in Seongwu's mind. He remembered the last time he met Daniel personally and the radio show they were listening to, before falling asleep in the car's backseat.

 

The Juice guy, Jisung, was the DJ of the blonde's favorite radio show.

 

_"I'm being a bit selfish, right?_

_But as long as DJ Jisung congratulates and dedicates me a good song, I'll feel better!"_

 

Seongwu snorted in disbelief, so that was why the other's voice was familiar to him. He could already imagine Daniel freaking out as soon as he knew about that.

 

_"Mrs. Lily, congratulations on your birthday!_

_I can imagine how sad you are today, but let me tell you something… You two do not need to be in the same place to be close to each other. You are far from each other, but your hearts are connected._

 

_So do not be sad, just as you spent the day thinking about him, he was also thinking of you._

 

_If you're missing him so much, you can call him one more time, right? How about you two listen to the next song together?_

 

_For Mrs. Lily and her boyfriend, 'Polaris by NU'EST W'."_

 

Seongwu sighed, the DJ's words echoing in his mind. At that moment he could only think of Daniel. Did the blonde think of the older as much as the latter thought about him?

 

He was not sure, considering that the blonde had many friends in college, besides his sunbae. Seongwu knew that Daniel's heart was connected to Sungwoon's, but he liked to believe that he still had a special place there too.

 

Suddenly the black haired man had the urge to call the blonde male. At least he could use the DJ as an excuse to contact the younger at that time. He prepared his cellphone to take a picture of Jisung, excited to surprise his friend. As he was about to shoot, the DJ looked in his direction.

 

Seongwu was caught off guard, his eyes widening, while the Juice guy was gaping. They stood for a while staring at each other, until Jisung smiled at the black haired man. Seongwu felt a strange sensation in his stomach, as if someone were tickling inside him.

 

He felt his face heat up when the DJ moved his lips slowly, forming a silent sentence. _‘Hello Mr. Mysterious’_ , that was what the black haired man understood.

 

Seongwu did not know what to do, so he just bowed before hurrying out of there. He did not know why, but he panicked. There was something in Jisung’s eyes that left him bewildered and intrigued at the same time.

 

For the next few days, Seongwu tried to forget that unexpected encounter. But as much as he tried to occupy his thoughts with other things, especially his work, the DJ's eyes, smile and voice came back to his mind at all times.

 

He recited to himself, internally and even loudly, his own rules. _'Stay away from him'_ , he told himself every time he thought about the juice guy. But in the end, his curiosity was stronger, so he ventured into the wing of the radio shows one more time.

 

Jisung's words touched his heart once more when he stood in front of the glass panel again. This made the black haired man even more intrigued. It was a mystery how the things the DJ talked about seemed to fit into different situations of Seongwu's life, always comforting him in some way.

 

Then Seongwu came back again and again, until he became a frequent listener of the show. Every Tuesday and Thursday he stayed in the company until later, with the excuse to advance his work, just to see the DJ.

 

On other days, he listened Jisung's show in the restaurant where he worked. Seongwu found it funny how the restaurant owner also became a Jisung's fan just like Daniel.

 

There was something special in Jisung, the black haired man acknowledged that. Although his life was still busy and messy, that winter ended a little nicer to Seongwu.

 

Thanks to the Juice guy's voice.

  


 

*****

 

 

It was the beginning of spring when Seongwu received his first payment. He was still at work, when he called Daniel and invited him to dinner. The blonde was as excited as he was - the older laughed when Daniel left him on hold for a while so he could bragg to his friends about the fancy date he would have at night.

 

The younger picked him up at the end of his shift and they went to the restaurant Daniel chose. Seongwu had fun hanging out with the blonde. They talked, catching up on each other's news. Daniel told him about college while Seongwu talked about boring stuff about his own work.

 

He felt a little more comfortable with himself that night, since his mind was filled only with thoughts about Daniel. His night was all about Daniel's jokes, smiles, and hugs. They also talked about Jisung that night, the blonde begged to his hyung to get an autograph for him.

 

Seongwu did not promise anything about getting the autographt and changed the subject quickly. He did not want to talk or think about the DJ, that night was only his and Daniel's.

 

But Seongwu's mind betrayed him later. On his way back home, his thoughts floated around the Juice guy.

 

_‘What had the program been like? What songs had Jisung recommended that night? Would they reprise his program?’_ So many unnecessary thoughts! Seongwu eventually became frustrated with himself.

 

He was getting dependent and that scared the hell out of him. It had taken him so many years to build a barrier in his heart, it was ridiculous that some sweet words were knocking it down. He could not accept that.

 

Seongwu was so distracted in his inner battle that he did not realize that someone was waiting for him at his place. He had barely entered the house when someone surprised him, pushing him against the wall.

 

"You're later than normal." Taehyun hissed, making Seongwu shiver. "Was your date so much fun?"

 

The black haired man bit his tongue lightly, holding bitter words that wanted to escape from his mouth. He knew that Taehyun would not give up, since he loved to taunt him.

 

So when the older man used nasty words to offend him, Seongwu attacked him on the same level. He made the loan shark angry with his acid retorts, without intending to run away this time.

 

He let Taehyun hit him as many times as the other wanted. Seongwu felt he needed that, he needed something to remind him of his place in the world.

 

It was almost three in the morning when the red haired man left, taking Seongwu's money with him. The younger was lying in his mattress, holding a bag of ice against his nose, when a stupid thought crossed his mind.

 

What kind of advice would the Juice guy give him if he knew Seongwu's story?

 

The black haired man laughed to himself at the thought of it, laughed until his belly hurt. He could imagine how Jisung would be scared if he knew what kind of people was involved in Seongwu's life. He felt a pang in his chest just imagining the fear in the other's eyes.

 

That was why he did not want to be attached to anyone. People walked away from his life easily, but it was hard for Seongwu to forget them. It hurt so much to give up someone.

 

  
*****

 

 

It had been a week since Seongwu stopped listening to Jisung's program. It was being difficult, he missed hearing the other's voice and seeing his smile. However he was trying hard to not thinking much about the other.

 

The black haired man was sure that he would overcome that sadness gradually, just as he had overcome his old traumas. Daniel was helping him with this, too, without knowing it. Talking to the blonde was the best distraction Seongwu could have.

 

Seongwu was sitting in the cafeteria on his floor, sipping a cup of bitter coffee. It was one in the morning and he had just finished his overtime. Some of his superiors had gone out to drink and celebrated the end of another project, but he chose to spend a little more time there before going home.

 

He was exhausted both physically and emotionally, so he just wanted to sit down a bit before moving again and facing the world outside the building.

 

Seongwu had just replied a message from Daniel, when the sound of footsteps caught his attention. He did not imagine there was anyone else on that floor who was working late.

 

He did not bother to check who it was, Seongwu just took the last sip of his coffee and got up to throw the cup into the nearest trash can. With the approach of another person, the black haired man finally decided to leave.

 

He was almost in the elevator when someone shouted at him.

 

"Mr. Mysterious!"

 

Seongwu cursed under his breath. Why did fate do that sort of thing with him?

 

He wanted to run away, but it was as if he was paralyzed in that place. His heart was beating faster and faster as the other ran towards him. Seongwu closed his eyes quickly, trying to concentrate. _'You have to get out of here'_ , he said to himself. But when he opened his eyes again, Jisung was already in front of him.

 

His heart had jumped into his throat as soon as his eyes met the DJ's. Jisung was frowning, his eyes wandering all over Seongwu's face.

 

"Where the hell have you been?" The juice guy asked to him, some irritation in his voice. "I was worried."

 

"I was busy." Seongwu croaked, making the other snort.

 

"Busy fighting with someone? What is that on your face?" Jisung retorted, taking his hand towards the wound on the black haired man's lips.

 

"It's none of your business" Seongwu replied dryly. He felt his heart fall as Jisung's hand dropped.

 

The DJ took a deep breath, shifting his gaze away from the other. Seongwu clenched his fists, holding himself. He wanted to hug the other, squeeze him in his arms and never let go.

 

"You're right, it's none of my business." The DJ bit his lower lip, blinking a few times. His eyes were filling with tears. "Sorry for trying to invade your space for the second time. I guess I misinterpreted you... So-"

 

He knew it was wrong, but Seongwu could not help it. Jisung was in front of his eyes, implicitly demonstrating that he liked him. So the black haired man gave up resisting, choosing go against his rules just one more time.

 

The DJ gasped when Seongwu cupped his face firmly and made their lips meet abruptly. The black haired man kissed the other greedily, his heart almost bursting with the contact. Jisung's lips were sweet and fit perfectly into his, Seongwu wished he could kiss them all night.

 

The air around them was getting hotter, Jisung pushed him against the wall, hands gripping in the fabric of his shirt, while their tongues coiled eagerly around each other. Seongwu ventured to touch lightly on the other's body, the adrenaline running through his veins. His hands touched Jisung’s neck, back and waist, making him sigh slightly.

 

The DJ sucked Seongwu's tongue, hands walking over his body, and for a moment the black haired man thought his legs had turned into jellies. When they finally broke the kiss, Seongwu felt himself tremble under the other's intense gaze.

 

Jisung was panting, his cheeks flushed and his lips swollen. He was so hot. If they were not at their workplace, Seongwu would make Jisung his right there.

 

"Let's go to my house." The DJ murmured, giving a peck on the black haired man’s lips.

 

Seongwu just nodded in agreement, slightly dazed. Jisung did not take long to pull him towards the elevator and the black haired man let himself be guided by the other.

 

That night he wanted to forget everything and everyone. That night Seongwu allowed himself to follow his own desires, without thinking of the consequences.

 

 

*****

 

 

When Jisung's eyes met Seongwu’s through the glass panel, the black haired man thought he would not have the strength to continue what he planned. He took a deep breath, closing his eyes for a moment, smiling slightly. He had to do that.

 

Seongwu tried to think of good things to gain courage. The memories of his night with the DJ flashed in his mind, making a comforting sensation ran through his body instantly. The warmth that Jisung gave to his days was something Seongwu never imagined he would find outside Daniel's presence.

 

The DJ entered Seongwu's life unexpectedly and made him rethink his old choices. Because he wanted to love Jisung with all his heart, he wished to get out of his comfort zone for the first time in years. Seongwu wanted to change his life.

 

But unfortunately there were still some obstacles that would not allow him to change.

 

That was why Seongwu was there at that moment, ready to make a painful decision. He wanted to keep that sweet smile on Jisung's face for a long time, so he could not change his mind.

 

The DJ was looking at him expectantly, then Seongwu showed his own cellphone, indicating that he had just sent a message. He had told Jisung earlier that he would send something to the show, and Jisung promised to read it live.

 

Jisung winked at him mischievously, before putting on his headphones. He held the phone in front of his eyes and Seongwu felt like something heavy was sinking into his stomach. The time had come.

 

_"Mr._ _Mysterious says: Jisung hyung,_

 

_Has this ever happened to you? To fall madly in love with someone?_

_I'm hopelessly in love with someone and it was the best thing that ever happened to me._

 

_My life did not make much sense before I met this person, but now I feel like I have a true reason to keep trying."_

 

Seongwu could see Jisung's face turning red as he read the message to his listeners. He was so cute.

 

_"Love made me think again about my old dreams, the ones I did with my friend in the past and that were long hidden in my heart._

 

_Now I feel that I am ready to try to reach them. Because of that person, I became a bit ambitious. I want to become a better person, someone who can face the person I like without being ashamed."_

 

A lonely tear was running down Jisung's face, though he was smiling widely. But when the DJ's eyes fell on the next paragraph, his beautiful smile faded away.

 

_"Because I have a long way to go before conquering my dreams and being worthy of the person I like, I will have to walk away._

 

_There are many things I have to do and I can not hold him by my side._

_I know we will suffer, but it is better this way."_

 

The DJ's lips trembled as he read those painful words. Seongwu felt his throat tighten as he tried not to cry. His vision was blurred, tears gathering in his eyes.

 

_"Fate has brought us closer, so I want to believe that one day it will make our paths cross again._

 

_Mr. Juice guy, please do not be sad. As long as you still love me, our hearts will be connected. I will always be thinking of you, so do not feel alone!_

 

_DJ Jisung you always have a song to recommend, but this time let me choose one._

_For the person I love, please play 'Would Be Better by Heize’."_

 

Jisung took off the headphones as soon as the music began to play. He ran towards the glass panel, didn't caring if the radio staff were judging him. Seongwu also approached the glass, heart aching to see his lover's face washed with tears.

 

The DJ put his hand on the panel. _"Do not go"_ , his lips moved in a request that the black haired man could not hear. But he understood perfectly, it was the moment that he could no longer hold his own cry.

 

Tears was rolling down his face when Seongwu rested his hand on Jisung's, on the glass. He brought his face closer to the panel and the DJ did the same. They kissed the cold object, but Seongwu felt his heart warm.

 

"I love you." The black haired man said, smiling.

 

Jisung's lips quivered as he answered: "I love you too. I'll wait for you."

 

Seongwu wanted to tell him not to do this, but he was selfish again. He nodded moving away from the panel. Jisung smiled at him sweetly and fondly, one last time.

 

Then Seongwu turned his back and left. He was crying hard on his way out of the building, it was a relief that there were just a few people there that hour. When he stepped out of the place, the black haired man felt the cool breeze hitting his face, coming in contact with his tears.

 

He did not want to wait for that pain to stop to follow his plans. Then Seongwu wiped away his tears and took a deep breath. The black haired man took one last look at the building before picking up his cellphone.

 

Seongwu quickly dialed some numbers and waited for the call to be answered.

 

_"Hello?"_

 

"Taehyun-ssi?" Seongwu smiled bitterly, starting to walk "Is your offer still standing?"

**Author's Note:**

> The songs mentioned in the story have lyrics that fit the context of the scenes, so it is interesting to look for their translations. Especially the song that Seongwu dedicated to Jisung ;)
> 
> That's it. Thank you for reading~


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